HAPPY NEW YEAR!

      (POSTED by Great-Granny Grandma)

"One thing I do, forgetting those things
which are behind and reaching forward
to those things which are ahead, I press
toward the goal for the prize of the
upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
(Philippians 3:13-14)

Where is everyone?  Do you realize it's been a whole year since anyone posted?  I didn't until this morning when I decided to take a look at this blog.  How time flies.

Now we're starting a brand New Year.  Who's with me in giving it another go and making this this the year we achieve our goals?  We cannot do it in our own strength, but we can through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13), and by cheering and encouraging each other on.

There are  many Scriptures that encourage me too--like 1 Corinthians 10:13 -- "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man, but God is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."  How's that for a promise?

Hebrews 12:1 tells us we even have a great cloud of witnesses watching us run our race and cheering us on--and this is a race where everyone who reaches the finish line wins a crown (1 Corinthians 24-27).  So what's stopping us.  Let's go!!!

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

"And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not
lose heart."  (Galatians 6:9)

As I go about my 'one step forward, two step back dance' I'm wondering if any of you are still out there.  I miss you.  Would love to see a post now and then to encourage me that I'm not still waging this battle alone.  Some days I feel like giving up, but then I remember the above verse and keep on keeping on.

Actually, there has been some very small progress.  For Christmas, I updated my Wii Fit to a Wii Fit Plus, and that, plus the result of an enormous amount of prayer, has motivated me to start exercising regularly again.  As a result, I have at least not gained back any more weight, and am still sort of hovering around the one pound I did manage to lose a while back. 

Hey all, this is the beginning of a new year, a new decade even.  Who's going to join me in some renewed efforts towards achieving our goal?

Blessings,

Great-Granny Grandma

OPEN LETTER TO GOD (written last week by Great-Granny Grandma)

"For what I am doing, I do not understand.
For what I will to do, that I do not practice,
but what I hate, that I do." - (Romans 7:15)

Dear God:

This morning I got on the scale fully expecting to have lost some weight after all the prepping and cleansing I had done for yesterday's colonoscopy and discovered, instead, that I have actually gained 1.5 lbs.  And why should that surprise me, considering the shameful binge I went on the day before the prep, and then again when I got home from the procedure, rationalizing that I would get back on track today.  What was I thinking?

Now I'm sitting here reminiscing, as I write to you, and realizing that all my ailments--without exception--have been a direct result of my own failure to take proper care of this one body I was entrusted with.  I have done it to myself, and even worse, to the temple of your Holy Spirit who dwells in me (1 Cor. 6:19).  And so, again, for the umpteenth time, I repent, and pray that you would help me stand strong in the face of temptation, and glorify you by being obedient to your Word so you can work through me in ways that a watching world can see.

I thank you for your mercy and grace, for your unconditional love despite my repeated failures, and that I am still special in your sight.  I am grateful beyond words for your compassion and that you never, ever give up on me--even when I'm ready to give up on myself.

Sometimes I think I'm getting way too old for this work in progress thing, but I know that's just another lie of the enemy.  With You, it is never too late, and we are never too far gone or beyond forgiveness.  So once again, I pick myself up, and holding on to the image of that great crowd of witnesses in the heavenlies watching me run my race and cheering me on (Hebrews 12:1), step up to the plate.  Please help me to make it this time around.  I cannot do it without you.

Back on Track

I am back on track now. I had really let things slide . . . not listening to my cd, not keeping a food diary, etc.

I am determined not to let this beat me. I have started to keep my food diary again. I am listening to my cd, and also to my ipod.

A small setback does not mean failure. It is only a small setback. I have really been through the mill these past few months. Not an excuse, I know . . . but still. I have gained back 4 pounds . . . and lost it, and gained it . . . and lost it . . . right now I have gained it again. I know it could be worse, but still I don't want this to be the thin edge of a heavy wedge. Time to get back to basics.

Life, you might knock me down from time to time, but you'll never keep me there.

I am back in fighting form and determined to move forward again.
Wish me luck!

MAY 16th, 2010 - posted by Sandy (aka Great-Granny Grandma)

"...it is God who works in you both to
will and to do for His good pleasure."
(Philippians 2:13)

Well, I'm back after a somewhat lengthy absence during which I felt like a hypocrite and deleted all my posts to this blog.  My story, if I shared it, would be practically verbatim to Angie's confessional in her last post, so I'll spare you the details --except one.

I keep doing (and not doing) the same things over and over and expecting different results.  Does anyone else relate to that? 

Today I enter the battlefield once again, and take comfort in the above Scriptute.  Today I give up trying to do this in my own strength and turn it over to the Lord.  Today my prayer is, Lord, please give me the willingness and commitment to get rid of this idol (food) in my life and start honoring you with the way I treat my body.  Amen!

Me too . . .

I think I have lost and gained the same four pounds half a dozen times over these past weeks. I have no excuse. I haven't been listening to my cd every morning, or paying attention to what I am eating like I should be. I have been overly distracted by my other problems, health and otherwise. I need to give myself a good kick in the pants as well. I tell myself every morning, today I am going to do better and then I don't. I have been trying to take long walks every day though, which hasn't been easy. I have been told I probably have Pagets Disease. I am experiencing an incredible amount of pain in my right hip, knee, thigh, ankle, etc. In short all the way from my lower back down to my ankle and all on the right hand side of my body. I wish Margaret was here . . . We have really been through the mill during these past few months and we still have a few hardships to go through yet. Things are pretty bad financially at the moment. I need to start writing everything down again and tracking what I am eating and why, and listening to my cd's again. I haven't actually put any weight on, what with taking it off again, but I haven't lost any further than I was several months ago. This could be disheartening, but in the light of all I have been through I guess it's not too bad. I don't want to stick here though. I want the scales to start moving down again.

Friday 14th May

Sorry, but I have to use this blog a bit like a confessional today  .............."forgive me readers for I have sinned"............

I have put on weight like it's going out of fashion!  I can only blame myself because at the end of the day it's me who puts the food in my mouth.

I have stopped listening to my body and eating only when I reach a certain state of hunger

I have omitted to stop eating when I'm pleasantly full.  It's easy enough to do this by only giving myself a small portion on a small plate and having seconds if I really need.  I know I'm much more likely to stop eating this way because I'm too flipping idle to go fetch any more.

I have been baking all sorts of goodies and helping to make sure they  don't go to waste!

In short, I have sat here getting fat.  I don't like it, I'm doing myself no favours and I need a quick kick up the bum!  Now. 






Well - this is a good start

Just a last few words before I move

The scales are packed and we are on our way. I won't have any internet access until a few days after we get settled in at the other end. This has been a rough ride. I won't kid you. I have not lost any weight, but neither have I gained any. The past few weeks have just been very unsettled and I have not gotten in a lot of exercise, unless of course you count wrapping and packing. Things will get back on track once we have settled. Wish me luck!! xxoo

Still losing

I've been through the most incredibly tumultuous couple of weeks, but I'm happy to report that I am still losing. I weighed myself just prior to having a bath last night (very abnormal for me as I usually weigh myself first thing in the morning) and I was down another 2 pounds, so that is good.

It's not easy to lose your home and your job all together. It is a very, very scary place to be. In days gone by, I probably would have soothed myself by eating everything in sight, again and again. I am happy to report that so far this just hasn't happened.

I was a bit worried that I would have put on weight after having spent a week in Chester looking for a new place to live. All we had to eat when we were there was fast food, mostly from McDonalds, cos it's the cheapest place to eat . . . although to be honest, I tried to choose the healthiest options that I could. We did do an ultra amount of walking though, so that probably helped a lot to keep things moving in the right direction!

Now we are super busy sorting through everything and getting our things ready to move. Things are still quite uncertain as I have not heard from my employer at all, except a brief phone call from his PA to tell me that I didn't need to go into work again and to get on with sorting ourselves out. He had told us that if we needed any help to let him know, but Todd's e-mail doing just that has been totally ignored, and not even acknowledged.

This is just so wrong. I know that I am entitled to redundancy pay, so hopefully that will be forthcoming . . . but when being made redundant also means you lose the very roof over your head . . . we feel that we are at least entitled to relocation costs as well. We shall see what happens . . . but whatever it is, I hope it happens soon, as we are getting down to the crunch here. There are only 2 1/2 weeks left before we need to be out of this house.

Your ongoing prayers and happy thoughts would be very much appreciated!!

I'm feeling a bit down

I've just been made reduntant. That means I am losing my job and my home and they want us to move out asap. My head is spinning. I never slept a wink last night and I am just shaking. Could y'all share prayer for me. Thanks. I've been told I will have an excellent reference as I am an excellent cook, but they will no longer require the services of a cook, and in fact they are planning on either selling our cottage or renting it out. I think devastated is the word that covers how I am feeling right now.

What a week!!

I have just had the craziest week ever. It's been really wierd. Some really crazy stuff has gone down at work and I find myself in a really scary place. My employers have separated, right out of the blue and I am now very uncertain as to my future. The husband walked out last Thursday without telling anyone and when his wife got home from her latest trip, a note was waiting for her on the bed. When I went to go into work that night, she told me to go home, I was not needed and not to come in again until I was told. I have gone back once this week, to do something for her as she is leaving for America tomorrow, but I had to go in when she wasn't there. I guess this is one of the down sides of working as a chef for a family and living where you work . . . I am now wondering if at the end of this month I will still have a job or a place to live. Very uncertain.

Happy to say though that I am sticking with my good eating habits. Only eating when hungry and only until satisfied. I haven't been as good as I should about writing everything down. I really need to get with it . . . and I need to be drinking more water. Down 2 more pounds.

I keep waiting for it to stop working. I wonder if this is normal. I suppose that having been on so many diets in the past 20 years and having failed at dieting for 20 years, it is normal to be a little afraid in that way.

We have gone walking a few times over the past week. I wish I had a wii fit. My boss tried to tell me that I should get our dog to give me one for Christmas. She said you should always let the dog buy you a pressie for Christmas. Somehow I don't think that one would wash with my husband!! I think I will have to earn it.

We have booked our tickets to go home to Canada in July and so now the pressure is on to really look good for then!

I guess that's all that is new. Will keep you all posted as to what happens next!! ☺

No Such Thing as Failure

One thing I have learnt through reading and (occasionally) contributing to this blog is that it's much easier to achieve SOMETHING - maybe not a lot - but some small success if I don't set any expectations or goals for myself.

Being in a wheelchair I can't rely on walking and work-outs to help me along, though I'm sure they would.  What I eat and, more importantly, when I eat it really matters to me. 

I have learnt not to mind too much if the scales stay the same for ages.  If I don't lose any weight for weeks I know there could be 3 reasons.  The first would be if I forgot the golden rule about eating only when I'm hungry.  The second would be eating beyond being pleasantly satisfied.  The third would be that I am where I am meant to be for now.  The only time I really do a double-take is if the scales go UP. 

I stressed about my weight for years and yo-yo dieted all my life and all because I was always trying to fit into a pattern dictated by other people.  Now I do it only for me and I'm not in competition with anyone.   Now, though I know I ought to weigh less, I am OK with me.  Now I understand that we only fail in the eyes of others.

Therefore there is no such thing as failure.

February

Well, here it is the beginning of February. I am pleased that I am "three stone-and-some" lighter than I was last year at this time, but had still hoped that it would be a greater loss, not that I am complaining, because a loss, is a loss, is a loss.

This past week has been somewhat of a struggle. I have been listening to my cd's every morning and also the one on my ipod every day, but I have not been feeling well. I have had a terrible rotten cold and also I am very tired as I have not been sleeping well because of that, plus I have had a lot of extra hours to put in at work.

The big house that I work in has been filled with Germans as well as their guest house and so that means there is a lot of really good chocolate around, Swiss chocolate no less. I am only human and I have imbibed . . . not like I would have done at one time, because after all, there is no bad food is there . . . only bad habits, and so I am a bit annoyed at myself that I have wasted some of my hunger on empty calories instead of good food which would have done me a lot better. To be perfectly honest it doesn't even taste all that good to me anymore . . . and I had it more out of habit than anything else. That little part of my brain that told me . . . "Oh boy, this is Swiss chocolate, right from Switzerland no less. You better eat some now as you never know when you will have it again."

Result . . . no real loss this week again. But I have only myself to blame. I have been so busy and so ill that I haven't been writing things down and I have been picking. I haven't really felt like eating a meal, and to be honest some days with the hours I have been working, there hasn't been time to have a meal. Picking is what got me where I was when I started all of this. You know . . . unconscious eating . . . eating without purpose or thought.

I had a good long think about it last night when I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep while my nose ran and my eyes streamed with this lousy cold. I thought about how important it is for me to look my very best when I go to visit my family in Canada in July. I thought about how my dad has diabetes and my mother has a heart condition and how I am not getting any younger and how I need to be more careful.

Today the sun shone for a short time, and as mucky as it was I took the dog over across the orchards for a good long walk. It was a hard slog as the ground is really wet, but it felt good and cleared a few of the cobwebs from my head.

Right now I have a tasty bean and pasta soup simmering on the hob. It smells good and to be perfectly honest . . . it will probably taste ten times better than that Swiss Chocolate ever did.

I am really proud of myself for having done so well, and I am so grateful to Margaret and the program. I am a much different person this February than I was last February. I have way more confidence in myself and I think well of myself. I am a much smaller person size wise and I have faith in myself that I can continue to do this.

Remember . . . it doesn't matter that much what you eat in a day. You may slip up one day and have something that's not really all that good for you, but . . . it's not the end of the world . . . what really matters is what you eat in a week. It's ok to have a treat once in a while, as long as it's only once in a while. A steady diet of treats and indulgences is what makes people fat. Period. The raw truth, but the truth.

That's one thing I like most about this program. It helps to decriminalize food. Somehow when something is not forbidden any more, it no longer has the enticement power that it used to have. Hey that means I have the power now, not the food.

That's a very good thing!

Plateaus and Persevering.

Sorry it has been so long since I posted. This is really just a quick update as I am very busy at work these days! What with luncheons to cook for and dinner parties. This weekend alone, I have a dinner party on Friday night, a Christening Luncheon (for 30 people) on Saturday and a brunch on Sunday. I still have all the shopping to do for each occasion and the cooking. There will be no rest for the wicked this weekend for sure!

Since I last posted I had hit somewhat of a plateau. My weight was not going down, nor was it going up. (thankfully!) It was a bit of a bummer . . . we all like to see the scales going down and it can be a bit discouraging to see it staying the same . . . day after day after day.

I knew it wouldnt' stay that way forever though. I have kept applying the principles to my life and living as I have been living. Only eating when hungry and only eating until satisfied, and moving my body. And finally two days ago, the scales went down another two pounds. Yayy!!!

I haven't lost my mojo.

Post Holidays

Well, here I am . . .

One Staff Christmas Party
One Italian Lunch with a friend
One Church Christmas Party
One Christmas Lunch
One Boxing Day Lunch
One New Years Eve Feast
One New Years Day Dinner
A few Christmas goodies, and chocolates and nibbles
and all the goodies in between
later . . .

and I managed to get through it all without putting on an ounce. I ate exactly what I wanted to eat. I did not feel deprived. I enjoyed every mouthful, and it was all delicious. I even induldged myself in a few chocolate treats, which were very good I must say.

but with only eating when I was hungry, and only eating until I was satisfied, I managed to get through it all intact!

This has been life saving to me and getting through this holiday season as well as I have done has shown me that I can live like this for the rest of my life, without fear that one day I will wake up and have been sprinkled by the fat fairy who will have undone all the good done by Margaret and the Happy Weight Program!!!! That is a real biggie. Like anyone who has had a measure of success with the program, and who has gone through a lifetime of dieting and dieting failure . . . the fear of it stopping working all of a sudden is a really big fear to face, and to work your way through. Every other time I have failed, failed, failed.

Today I feel successful, and that's just wonderful. I feel in control. I feel happy and I feel satisfied. I also feel very, very grateful.

A year ago, I was three stone heavier, and resigned to the probability that I would spend the rest of my life looking fat, feeling weighed down by it all, feeling sick and tired, and wanting to hide from the world. The inevitable fat lady smiling on the outside, whilst her heart is breaking on the inside. Eating in secret so that nobody would look at me and say, how disgusting . . . look at that fat lady stuffing her face. (my mother's voice echo's here) I thought I would die young, fat and unhealthy. This new year sits before me with promise! I have conquered my fat demons and I feel better and healthier than I have in a very long time.

I know I can continue on and get to the place I want to be weight wise, and that I will be able to stay there. I no longer feel like a failure. Today I feel like a winner and that's a very good thing.

Here's to 2010 and the ongoing adventure that awaits me on my journey as the incredible shrinking woman!!

How I am doing.

Well, I am happy to say I am holding my own! Last Monday was our works Christmas Party. Lots of food and drink about, but I was not tempted to splurge or go overboard, thankfully. Quite surprising really, as in years gone past, I would have loaded my plate up and then gone back for more! I was really sensible. I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat an awful lot so I only took what I thought I could eat and even then I couldn't eat it all and had to leave some on my plate. Hooray!!! Then with the pudding, I only asked for a small spoonful, and then had that with a small spoonful of cream. It was lovely and just the right amount. Then the cheese course, I had a taste, just enough to satisfay and that was great also. I felt absolutely happy with what I had eaten and when I weighed myself at the end of the week, all was well. I had gone neither up, nor down. Whew!! Pretty wonderful stuff!

I also went out for lunch with my friend Jo on Thursday. We went to an Italian place in Tunbridge Wells. I was looking forward to this as it had been a while since I had seen Jo and I never get to eat Italian much at home. Todd is not an Italian lover. We had garlic bread to start, and wow, were we surprised when it came. It was like a pizza! I had a small slice as I knew if I ate any more of it I would not be able to eat my lunch. I had the ricotta and spinach ravioli on a bed of rocket with a fresh tomato and cream sauce. It was gorgeous, but again, I could only eat about a third of it. I was completely happy and satisfied after eating only a third and had the will power to be able to stop there. It is amazing and I am soooo happy with this.

I am fitting into clothes that I haven't been able to wear for a long time and I am feeling really good about myself. I still have quite a ways to go of course, but I feel confident that I will get there and very happy with the choices I am making.

I love this. As long as I pay attention to the signals my body is giving me then I am able to totally control what I am eating. It feels so good to finally be in control of my body instead of it being the other way around!

Now . . . if I could only control my spending!!! I wonder if Margaret gives help with that . . .

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thoughts three weeks before Christmas

I have lost very close to 3 stone now, which is amazing to me. If you are not familiar with stones, a stone is the equivalent of 14 pounds of weight, so that is 'perty' nigh close to 42 pounds in weight. It seems amazing to me that a year ago, just a few weeks before Christmas, I had no idea that this is what the year would bring to me. I am ever so grateful that Todd was listening to the radio on that fateful day in June and that he was supportive enough of me to have said go for it! I am also ever so grateful to Margaret and all the support and help she has given me. She has given me back control of my life, or at least helped me to find the strength to take back the control of my life from the eating disorder that was slowly destroying it!!!

I put on my winter coat to go to the grocery store yesterday morning and it literally was hanging on me. It felt good and at the same time let me know that I am going to be having to get myself some new clothes soon.

This is the lowest in weight I have been in a great many years now and yes . . . I am beginning to have skin issues. This is one of the things that had kept me from really going for it before now, or should I say one of the excuses that I used to keep me from pursuing losing the weight seriously in the past. Now I say, pooh to that! It is inevitable that I will have excess skin and I shall have to do whatever I have to do to get rid, even if that means surgery . . . so be it. I can begin to understand the words . . . nothing tastes as good as thin feels. There is some truth there, scary as that might be. But then . . . any extreme is not good, not healthy, not to be embraced.

The thought occurs to me this morning that I am not just doing this for myself. I am doing this for all the fat women in my life . . . this is for my grandmother who weighed close to 300 pounds when she passed away, and who I never saw thin. For my Aunt Freda, who had a smiling face and a kind heart, but who would have given anything to be thin. For all my friends who have fought and are fighting the same battle. Don't give in. You can do it. We can do it.

The Christmas Holidays are upon us and with it all the indulgences that usually accompany them. The office parties, the holiday visits, the Christmas dinners and treats . . . I am not afraid this year. I am armed with all the tools I need to get through them intact.

My youngest son turns 21 tomorrow. That is the last time I remember being thin . . . for not too long after he was born I had my tubes tied and I quit smoking and the battle with my weight began. He is the only one of my children that has absolutely no recollection of me ever being thin. He has only ever known me as being fat. That makes me feel sad. I don't want him to only ever remember me as being fat. I want him to remember me as being a strong woman who was not afraid to stand up for what she believed in, who had the strength to walk away from an abusive marriage, who had the courage to stand up for what she believed in, who had talents that she was not afraid to explore and who had the power to wrest control of her life back from the demons that tried to steal it from her.

Bring on the turkey and the stuffing. I can handle it.

There's no rest for the wicked!!

I have had a very busy few weeks. It's always like this for me in the run up to Christmas. Because I work for an American family the month of November is crazy, crazy, crazy. Family is coming and going, along with friends . . . there is the big Thanksgiving Feast to prepare and the family is busy getting ready to fly to America for their Christmas celebrations over there. To top it off the housekeeper has been off sick with swine flu for several weeks so I have been wearing two hats, both as the cook and as best as I can with the housekeepers job.

On Thanksgiving day alone I cooked a dinner for a ginormous amount of people . . . three appetizers (smoked salmon roulades, olive poppers, hot pepper cheese balls) a soup course (curried pumpkin soup with my mother's baking powder biscuits) the main course (Two roasted turkeys, cornbread stuffing, green beans with crimini mushrooms and shallots) oven braised parsnips and carrots with rosemary, wild rice and cranberry pilaff, Sweet potato souffle, Bing Cherry Salad, Gingered Cranberry Relish) and three desserts ( Pecan Pie, Gingered Pear crumble and a spiced pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting and toasted pecan garnish) Whew! I got tired just writing all of that! I don't know how they managed to eat it all, really. I got through the whole day with a bowl of cereal, a bowl of soup and a roll. I was far too busy to eat anything else. Funny thing is when I am busy at work and cooking . . . I have no interest in eating at all.

Upshot of being so busy is . . . one - I haven't been keeping up my food diary like I should. I have kept a running tab in my head but I just haven't gotten around to putting it down on paper, which I don't really like. I like seeing it in black and white. two - I am down another 3 pounds since the last time I posted, which is good, and which shows me I am still on track despite not being able to write things down and not being able to fit in any exercise. Of course the weather has been horrible so there's been no walking and the nights are getting dark really early as well . . . so by the time I get home from work, it's really too dark to walk.

I need to do something about that. I am sure the weight loss would accelerate if I got in more.

Nice thing today . . . everyone at church was telling me how wonderful I am looking and how thin. Well, I know I dont' really look thin, but I guess compared to what I was a few months ago, it is a big difference. I feel really good about things.

One thing I have noticed . . . I will say to myself and even go so far as to pick up a piece of chocolate and then I think . . . why bother, it doesn't even taste good and so I don't eat it. And that's the truth. It doesn't taste good, at least not like it used to.

So that's my update for now. Be back soon with more news from the Incredible Shrinking Woman <==== That's me!!! yeee hawww!!! (feels good!)

An emotional week

Sorry that I didn't get back on here like I promised to the other day. I have had a really harsh week, and an emotional one. After the joy I felt the other morning at having been down four pounds, I then went in to work and I could tell right away that my boss had been on a rampage. She gets like that periodically and I suppose because I am the one employee that she knows won't storm off in a huff and quit . . . I am usually the one who bears the brunt of it. I am a kind person with a soft heart and she knows this . . . When I went into work on Monday morning I knew right away that it was going to be a bad day. I had already been feeling a bit sad and down because of family issues and then when I walked into the kitchen where I work I could tell she had been going through cupboards and things . . .

This is always a bad sign. The last time she did this to me was Easter of this past year, and at that time I was called everything from filthy to lazy and indolent. She has a warped idea of things really, and I know I shouldn't take the things she says personally and to heart. I should know that this is her problem, and not make it mine, but it's very hard not to take things personally when she is saying things like she does to me. In the past , this would have sent me straight to my chocolate stash, for soothing comfort and solace.

This was a real test, and I'm happy to say that I passed it for the most part. Oh, I did have a few weak moments, but I just told myself that I wasn't going to let her small mindedness and her failings cause me to lose faith in myself or to trip up where I have done so well. I know I'm not lazy, filthy or indolent . . . nor am I stupid and worthless.

One of the things that has helped me the most on this journey has been the little conversations that I have had with Margaret . . . conversations that have helped me to work out emotional issues which in the past have caused me to turn to food when I am down, or upset, or laid emotionally bare . . . Talking to Margaret has helped me to find and discover different ways of dealing with these types of triggers, rather than turning to food. This has been a real God send.

After having spent so long in an abusive relationship with my ex husband and having escaped, and then with having to deal with a boss who is a bit of a nutcase and emotionally abusive from time to time, I really needed the help that Margaret has been able to give me in that way.

I know that I can't really change the way my boss speaks to me or the way that she treats me from time to time . . . but I can change the way I react to it, and I can cease to let it have the power over me that it has done in the past.

So, whilst I did feel a bit injured earlier this week, and a bit emotioanlly raw . . . I did not cave in to it and allow it to destroy all the hard work I have done.

One-on-one Therapy is something that you can't get from a book or a cd, and it's worth every penny. It's completely tailored to you as an individual and it's personal. I truly believe that it's been the secret to my success thus far.

I know it can't go on forever . . . and I confess, I am a bit afraid of what will happen when it all ends . . . but then, I know that if I ever need to see Margaret for a bit of a refresher I can, and I will. This is just too darned important to me, as is my well being.

The good news is . . . I didn't go off the rails, and "She" didn't win.

Going DOWN DOWN DOWN!!

Down another 4 pounds this morning from last week!!! I am soooo pleased. I am so very grateful to a husband who was supportive and loving enough to allow me to do this and I am eternally grateful to Margaret who showed me the way. Will be back later for a more indepth post, but for now I just had to share my joy!