A big decision

Several weeks ago I was at work and my husband called me. He said that he had been listening to Radio4 and heard a lady on there who was a Hypnotherapist. She did hypnotherapy for lots of things, but had enjoyed a large amount of success with people wanting to lose weight.

I have not always been large, but I find myself at the age of 53 being the largest I have ever been in my life. I have been on a diet since the age of 32 and all that has ever happened with each diet is that I have gotten larger and larger.

Sure I joke about it . . . make light of it . . . but the truth is I hate looking and feeling the way that I do. I have a hard time reaching down to pick anything up from the floor and my husband has to help me put my socks on in the morning and tie my shoes. I hate that too. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing this woman I don't know and the scared woman inside my eyes. I know that this weight is slowly killing me, stealing my life from me little by little and that one day it will ultimately take it away from me altogether . . . unless I do something about it. I feel out of control and desperate. I hate what I have become.

I called the clinic that very day. Margaret and I talked on the telephone for about an hour that day and agreed to meet up the next Tuesday. I was thrilled. I felt like finally, for the first time in many years, here was something and someone that might be able to help me to do what I had been failing at for so many years. I felt like a life line had been thrown my way.

I went to her clinic the next Tuesday a little nervous, a little excited, a little afraid. I didn't really know what to expect. The sum of all I knew about hypnosis was what I'd seen on stage. Tricksters making people wander around clucking like chickens and such. I didn't want to end up hating food. I work with food. It is my life. I really want to lose the weight though, so despite my fears and trepidation I go anyways and am pleasantly surprised.

I think I can do this. I know I can do this. This is me getting a handle on the rest of my life and hopefully going down . . . down . . . down, and staying there.