There's no rest for the wicked!!

I have had a very busy few weeks. It's always like this for me in the run up to Christmas. Because I work for an American family the month of November is crazy, crazy, crazy. Family is coming and going, along with friends . . . there is the big Thanksgiving Feast to prepare and the family is busy getting ready to fly to America for their Christmas celebrations over there. To top it off the housekeeper has been off sick with swine flu for several weeks so I have been wearing two hats, both as the cook and as best as I can with the housekeepers job.

On Thanksgiving day alone I cooked a dinner for a ginormous amount of people . . . three appetizers (smoked salmon roulades, olive poppers, hot pepper cheese balls) a soup course (curried pumpkin soup with my mother's baking powder biscuits) the main course (Two roasted turkeys, cornbread stuffing, green beans with crimini mushrooms and shallots) oven braised parsnips and carrots with rosemary, wild rice and cranberry pilaff, Sweet potato souffle, Bing Cherry Salad, Gingered Cranberry Relish) and three desserts ( Pecan Pie, Gingered Pear crumble and a spiced pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting and toasted pecan garnish) Whew! I got tired just writing all of that! I don't know how they managed to eat it all, really. I got through the whole day with a bowl of cereal, a bowl of soup and a roll. I was far too busy to eat anything else. Funny thing is when I am busy at work and cooking . . . I have no interest in eating at all.

Upshot of being so busy is . . . one - I haven't been keeping up my food diary like I should. I have kept a running tab in my head but I just haven't gotten around to putting it down on paper, which I don't really like. I like seeing it in black and white. two - I am down another 3 pounds since the last time I posted, which is good, and which shows me I am still on track despite not being able to write things down and not being able to fit in any exercise. Of course the weather has been horrible so there's been no walking and the nights are getting dark really early as well . . . so by the time I get home from work, it's really too dark to walk.

I need to do something about that. I am sure the weight loss would accelerate if I got in more.

Nice thing today . . . everyone at church was telling me how wonderful I am looking and how thin. Well, I know I dont' really look thin, but I guess compared to what I was a few months ago, it is a big difference. I feel really good about things.

One thing I have noticed . . . I will say to myself and even go so far as to pick up a piece of chocolate and then I think . . . why bother, it doesn't even taste good and so I don't eat it. And that's the truth. It doesn't taste good, at least not like it used to.

So that's my update for now. Be back soon with more news from the Incredible Shrinking Woman <==== That's me!!! yeee hawww!!! (feels good!)

An emotional week

Sorry that I didn't get back on here like I promised to the other day. I have had a really harsh week, and an emotional one. After the joy I felt the other morning at having been down four pounds, I then went in to work and I could tell right away that my boss had been on a rampage. She gets like that periodically and I suppose because I am the one employee that she knows won't storm off in a huff and quit . . . I am usually the one who bears the brunt of it. I am a kind person with a soft heart and she knows this . . . When I went into work on Monday morning I knew right away that it was going to be a bad day. I had already been feeling a bit sad and down because of family issues and then when I walked into the kitchen where I work I could tell she had been going through cupboards and things . . .

This is always a bad sign. The last time she did this to me was Easter of this past year, and at that time I was called everything from filthy to lazy and indolent. She has a warped idea of things really, and I know I shouldn't take the things she says personally and to heart. I should know that this is her problem, and not make it mine, but it's very hard not to take things personally when she is saying things like she does to me. In the past , this would have sent me straight to my chocolate stash, for soothing comfort and solace.

This was a real test, and I'm happy to say that I passed it for the most part. Oh, I did have a few weak moments, but I just told myself that I wasn't going to let her small mindedness and her failings cause me to lose faith in myself or to trip up where I have done so well. I know I'm not lazy, filthy or indolent . . . nor am I stupid and worthless.

One of the things that has helped me the most on this journey has been the little conversations that I have had with Margaret . . . conversations that have helped me to work out emotional issues which in the past have caused me to turn to food when I am down, or upset, or laid emotionally bare . . . Talking to Margaret has helped me to find and discover different ways of dealing with these types of triggers, rather than turning to food. This has been a real God send.

After having spent so long in an abusive relationship with my ex husband and having escaped, and then with having to deal with a boss who is a bit of a nutcase and emotionally abusive from time to time, I really needed the help that Margaret has been able to give me in that way.

I know that I can't really change the way my boss speaks to me or the way that she treats me from time to time . . . but I can change the way I react to it, and I can cease to let it have the power over me that it has done in the past.

So, whilst I did feel a bit injured earlier this week, and a bit emotioanlly raw . . . I did not cave in to it and allow it to destroy all the hard work I have done.

One-on-one Therapy is something that you can't get from a book or a cd, and it's worth every penny. It's completely tailored to you as an individual and it's personal. I truly believe that it's been the secret to my success thus far.

I know it can't go on forever . . . and I confess, I am a bit afraid of what will happen when it all ends . . . but then, I know that if I ever need to see Margaret for a bit of a refresher I can, and I will. This is just too darned important to me, as is my well being.

The good news is . . . I didn't go off the rails, and "She" didn't win.