One of the things I seem to have a big problem fitting in is exercise. I suppose after working an 8 hour day and then the things I have to get done at home, this is quite difficult, but I have managed to fit it in 4 or 5 times this week. I went dancing one night and took a few brisk walks and I do have to say I felt much better for it.
Exercise is kind of a frightening thing for me. About 12 years ago now, I watched my mother's boyfriend drop dead in front of us. We had just eaten a meal at KFC and were out in the parking lot talking together before we went our various ways, and he just keeled over. He was dead before he hit the ground. Rudy was not overweight at all. He was quite slim actually. He did smoke though, and he smoked home grown tobacco.
Seeing that happen in front of my eyes scared me to no end. I had never seen anyone die before. It had a very profound effect on me. I know that if I don't exercise at all, then I am doing more harm to my heart in the long run, but then whenever I do exercise, I have this little niggling fear in the back of my mind, what if I keel over . . . what if it's too much for my heart?? What if this is the straw the breaks the camel's back? Then, of course, the larger I get, the more afraid I get.
I was doing pretty good 3 years ago. I was walking miles every day and I had managed to lose about 3 stone. But then I developed plantar fasciatis. Every step for me became agony. After being on my feet for 8 hours at work every day, by the time I got home my feet would be so sore, I practically had to crawl up the stairs to go to bed at night. They would still be aching and hurting as I lay in bed and some nights I would hardly sleep at all for the pain went on through the night. The thought of walking or pounding my feet in the floor was enough to make me want to dig a hole and bury myself in it. Imagine with every step, it feeling like a hammer was socking it to your heel and instep. Having flat feet and fallen arches only made it hurt even worse.
I searched and searched for a pair of shoes that would give me comfort. I had physio therapy. Taping my feet was the only thing that helped. Eventually, after months and months, and having finally found a pair of expensive trainers that fit properly, it has become much more bearable. At least I can walk and move about without much pain, although to be sure my ankles, knees and hips do bother me . . . the price I pay for having gotten so large.
I do feel better when I exercise. That's a fact. I like walking most of all, and dancing second of all. I am starting out small. Just a brisk walk around the orchard, walking hard enough to break out into a sweat. I think that is a good start. As I get more used to it again, I will go further and further.
We are going to Broadstairs to visit friends in July and they are BIG walkers. They walk all the way from Broadstairs to Ramsgate almost every day and we like to go with them. Hopefully by then I will be up to it! We're also going on a coach holiday to Austria and I want to be able to walk without tiring myself on that as well. I can hardly wait!
I know that exercise is an integral part of any weight loss program. It increases your metabolism and helps to burn fat.
I am doing really good on the eating side of things. I am only eating when I am hungry and eating pretty much anything I want to eat, which is a massive bonus. Every time I went on a diet I always fell off it after a time because of the feeling of deprivation. It was like being at a banquet and not being able to eat. In fact I used to often have a dream where I was at a banquet and the servers would keep setting big plates filled with delicious food down in front of me, but when I would go to eat it, it was always gone and I would be so disappointed. I am not sure if this is any significance or not? Hmmmm . . . perhaps Margaret will know!
In any case I am enjoying moving my body and I have to say I am enjoying my food more now than I have in a very long time. Life is very good!