Sorry that I didn't get back on here like I promised to the other day. I have had a really harsh week, and an emotional one. After the joy I felt the other morning at having been down four pounds, I then went in to work and I could tell right away that my boss had been on a rampage. She gets like that periodically and I suppose because I am the one employee that she knows won't storm off in a huff and quit . . . I am usually the one who bears the brunt of it. I am a kind person with a soft heart and she knows this . . . When I went into work on Monday morning I knew right away that it was going to be a bad day. I had already been feeling a bit sad and down because of family issues and then when I walked into the kitchen where I work I could tell she had been going through cupboards and things . . .
This is always a bad sign. The last time she did this to me was Easter of this past year, and at that time I was called everything from filthy to lazy and indolent. She has a warped idea of things really, and I know I shouldn't take the things she says personally and to heart. I should know that this is her problem, and not make it mine, but it's very hard not to take things personally when she is saying things like she does to me. In the past , this would have sent me straight to my chocolate stash, for soothing comfort and solace.
This was a real test, and I'm happy to say that I passed it for the most part. Oh, I did have a few weak moments, but I just told myself that I wasn't going to let her small mindedness and her failings cause me to lose faith in myself or to trip up where I have done so well. I know I'm not lazy, filthy or indolent . . . nor am I stupid and worthless.
One of the things that has helped me the most on this journey has been the little conversations that I have had with Margaret . . . conversations that have helped me to work out emotional issues which in the past have caused me to turn to food when I am down, or upset, or laid emotionally bare . . . Talking to Margaret has helped me to find and discover different ways of dealing with these types of triggers, rather than turning to food. This has been a real God send.
After having spent so long in an abusive relationship with my ex husband and having escaped, and then with having to deal with a boss who is a bit of a nutcase and emotionally abusive from time to time, I really needed the help that Margaret has been able to give me in that way.
I know that I can't really change the way my boss speaks to me or the way that she treats me from time to time . . . but I can change the way I react to it, and I can cease to let it have the power over me that it has done in the past.
So, whilst I did feel a bit injured earlier this week, and a bit emotioanlly raw . . . I did not cave in to it and allow it to destroy all the hard work I have done.
One-on-one Therapy is something that you can't get from a book or a cd, and it's worth every penny. It's completely tailored to you as an individual and it's personal. I truly believe that it's been the secret to my success thus far.
I know it can't go on forever . . . and I confess, I am a bit afraid of what will happen when it all ends . . . but then, I know that if I ever need to see Margaret for a bit of a refresher I can, and I will. This is just too darned important to me, as is my well being.
The good news is . . . I didn't go off the rails, and "She" didn't win.
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Help with panic attacks, work and relationship problems, depression, lack of confidence, confusion, life choices.
Margaret Hunn, DIP EHP NLP MCRAH
Good on you.... You ARE much stronger now and we are thankful for that. I am so glad that you have Maragret to turn to when you get a "wobbly" It is so sad when people take their own anger out on other people. They sure are to be prayed for.
ReplyDeleteKeep going you will have won every pound you loose !!
Much Love Sybil x
Isn't it just typical! People who seem to have it all - wealth, power, and thin-ness - can't find any better use for those things than hitting on someone who can't or won't hit back. I know you just have to let it all go over your head and well done you for doing that but personal name calling is just not on. I bet the Mr didn't hear any of it did he?
ReplyDeleteTry not to worry about when your course with Margaret ends. You have learnt so much and achieved so much that you are always going to pause before you eat. I think so anyway. And, as you say, you can always get a top-up!
Oooooh - I don't like it when my friend is upset like this by someone who ought to know better. I know you don't have such a thing in you so if you want I'll pop round and throw a few squishy tomatoes at her! Or empty the compost bin on her car!
love, Angie, xx
Wow, Marie, you are incredible. Nobody should be treated/talked to that way. And that you didn't lash out at her or quit, and you didn't turn to food either is amazing.
ReplyDeleteYou stood firm and I admire you for that. You did great! I am very proud of you! I am one of many - I am sure that pray for you daily. I am glad for what Margaret is done but am giving thanks to our Heavenly Father for keeping you in your time of need. YEAAAAA!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work.
Blessings, Hugs and Love,
Ruthanne
Good for you, Marie! I'm sorry you have to deal with unkindness, but you are right to say it's her problem and try to let it go in one ear and out the other. Easier said than done I know! Congrats on the next 4 pounds, you are amazing!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteDear Marie, I am so proud of you. You have just done so well in your weight program in spite of the obstacles you have had to contend with, you are an inspiration to us all. Just remember your boss is only one person that feels that way. Thousands of us out here feel the opposite. We all love and admire you, even more so when we hear how you are being treated, just ignore it, and put it behind you. You are the best. MC. CANADA
ReplyDeleteMarie, I don't know what I was thinking but I didn't have this blog on my blogroll so I have missed a bunch of your psots. I ma going back to catch up. Let me just say I am so sorry about your boss. I had one like that for 20 something years and it nearly destroyed me...but after nearly 6 years away I am recovering. He was not necessarily mean he was just indifferent. That is even worse. When you try so hard and nothing makes a difference.
ReplyDeleteI realize now that he was just socially ignorant but all the while I thought it was me.
As an example of how he was, when my son, whom he had known for many years went on his mission to Brazil, not once did my boss ask how things were going or how he was even though he knew Chris had been quite ill down there and he knew how worried I was. He just simply didn't care. It was like he was a big fancy doctor and we just worked for him like peasants or something. It was very bothersome but it made me a better person to every person I meet no matter their station.
So hang in there sometimes it is just the boss' job to be obnoxious. You are awesome...don't forget it! Love you, Sweet girlfriend!
Marie, I think you did so well on this. I've only just been lucky enough to find Margaret's site and I'm hoping it will help me as much as it's helped you.
ReplyDeleteI too have had a toxic person in my life and have always turned to food to ease the pain. No-one should have to put up with people being like that, it's bullying no matter how they dress it up, unfortunately they're out there and cos they know how to work it they get away with it.
Those who've come across these people know what I mean and will be nodding their heads in agreement.
You are so right in saying it's their problem not ours and that is the beginning of the end of their power over us.
Well done!