Going DOWN DOWN DOWN!!

Down another 4 pounds this morning from last week!!! I am soooo pleased. I am so very grateful to a husband who was supportive and loving enough to allow me to do this and I am eternally grateful to Margaret who showed me the way. Will be back later for a more indepth post, but for now I just had to share my joy!

Thursday 22 October 2009

142.75 lbs today!  Going down slowly again after my little lapse. 

You know, convincing myself that the odd couple of pounds now and then isn't important was a very hard thing to do.  I didn't believe that because of all the years I had spent being conditioned to failure.  Being a fat  child was, I thought, my first failure and it all went downhill from there.  I have always had a running battle going on.

It does get harder, I think, to lose weight as you get older.  Your body changes, your hormones change, your lifestyle changes - YOU change.  Personally, I'm a more laid back character than I used to be.  When I was younger there was always someone I was trying to impress, from the boss to the neighbours.  Whatever YOU had, we had a more up-to-date one or a shinier one.  I'm not bothered any more.  I only want to lose weight because I don't feel comfortable heavier but if  I want to eat a bit of chocolate I will.  Trust me, I know what I'm doing!

There's a lot of eating about to happen in the next couple of weeks because of Keith's birthday and our little holiday in Blackpool but one thing you won't be hearing from me is "I can't, I'm on a diet". 

What is Hypno Therapy

A lot of people have asked me what exactly is hypno therapy. What happens exactly. Hypno Therapy is a combination of things. Yes, there is hypnosis, but there is also therapy which goes hand in hand with the hypnosis. I have found the therapy part of it to be so very helpful. Margaret and I talk about things. There is always an underlying reason to why we do the things we do, why we have the habits we have. Being able to talk about these things with Margaret has really helped me to reason out why I have had this problem relationship with food that I have had for so long. I really think the therapy sessions have been the secret to my success thus far.

Hypnosis is not at all scary. It's a bit like daydreaming. Sometimes I am totally aware the whole time of what is going on, and then at others I am not. It all depends on which level I am able to relax down into. Always, it is relaxing and calming. I just find myself drifting off into another "plane" of existance I guess, where I am neither asleep, nor am I totally awake, but I am aware, and I can stop it any time I feel the need to do so. It's a way to get in touch with my inner consciousness.

This week I thought I would see how I would get along without writing down everything I eat. I am 4 days into that idea and I don't like it. I am going to start writing everything down again today. When I write it all down, I feel much better about it. I want to be totally conscious of what I am putting into my mouth, and not taking note of it just makes it too easy to forget . . . I have little journals that I write down everything I eat in, and my level of hunger, and what I am doing when I eat, etc. This has been very helpful to me. I stop and think before I go to eat something . . . do I really want to have to write this down??? If the answer is no, then it's probably a good indication that I shouldn't be eating it! (and so I don't eat it.) Sure, I could cheat and not write it down, but then . . . who would I really be cheating? I think we all know the answer to that one.

And so today I will start writing it all down again.

Whew!! That feels better!!

I hope this will work for me.

Hello.... My name is Lura. I am a 65 year old grammy who has battled my weight as long as I can remember. I used to be quite slim but it was only with extreme dieting and lots of exercise that I managed it.

...

Several years ago I injured both of my feet. I was in casts and a wheelchair for some time. The lack of exercise made me put on 40 pounds. Now that I am better, I have been trying to get the weight off without success. The doctor checked my metabolism and said that it is the lowest of anyone he has ever checked. My BMR is 875. I keep trying but have more or less given up being slim again.

...

A few weeks ago Marie told me about Paul McKenna's book "I Can Make You Thin". She told me Angie had read the book and was listening to the CD. I ordered the book and read it 4 weeks ago. It makes sense to me. I listen to the CD everyday...I even listened to it every day of my recent 2 week vacation. I have not weighed. I want to but I am afraid if I do and see that I have not lost weight that I will get discouraged and give up. (I have done that in the past.) I am only eating when I am hungry...and only until I am satisfied. I think my clothes are looser, but I am not sure. I am so hoping this will work for me. I hope...I hope...I hope...

Eating to Hunger

I've had another good week, down another 3 pounds since the last time I weighed in. I keep waiting to hit that brick wall, but am remaining optomistic. I am continuing to eat to hunger, which means I only eat when I am hungry and only until I have had enough.

Once you learn to recognize when your body is actually hungry and to recognize when you have had enough . . . it is really easy to do.

I know when I am hungry because I get a gnawing feeling in my stomache . . . I start to think about food and my tummy starts to growl. It is not because I am bored, or because I am anxious. It is because I am genuinely hungry. That is when I know it is time to have something to eat.

It's not good to wait until I am ravenous though . . . those are the times when I am more than likely to over do it, and so I try very hard to never let myself get that hungry. Being ravenous is almost actually painful. It's not a good thing.

When I am eating, I concentrate on my food and I enjoy every mouthful. I eat slowly and consciously. I am aware of every spoon or fork ful and they are all delightful to me. I know I have had enough when what I am eating starts to lose it's appeal. I know that if I eat much more than that I will begin to feel uncomfortable and that's also not a good thing.

For years and years I never knew what it was to feel these two things. I was almost always hungry and never, ever full.

I cannot imagine ever being like that again. That IS a good thing!

Thursday 8th October

Now just let this be a lesson to me!  Over the past 4 weeks I have put ON a pound and a half!  I promised myself I would only get on the scales every two weeks.  I can't exercise much because of the wheelchair so my weight loss has to be achieved by following the rule - the ONLY real rule - "Are you really hungry?".  The Thursday before last, when I should have been weighed, I forgot, last Thursday the scales were not in the bathroom and as I didn't know where Keith had put them (he thought he was tidying the bathroom) I never gave them another thought.  Today, everything was back in place and there, before my very eyes, was the stark, awful truth.

I know a pound and a half doesn't seem much to gain but it represents another fortnight's effort to get it off again.

BUT having given my hands a smack I shall re-read Paul McKdenna's book "I can make you thin" - not as an imposition but as a re-inspiration.

In two weeks time I'll write again and will have better to report.

love, Angie, xx

Still going down

I am happy to say that my weight is still going down and it is still painless. I am loving the empowerment that comes from being the master of what I eat, instead of it being the other way around.

One thing I do struggle with though, is trying to fit in the time for exercise. I know I need to do more and it has been really hard finding a time that I can fit it in to my day. I do spend 8 hours a day on my feet at work and I work really hard, but that is not exercise.

I am up at 5 o'clock every morning, trying to fit in all that I have to do during the day around my working hours. Each day I start off with great intentions, but then . . . each day ends without me having done any. What is the answer? Do I need to get up at 4 a.m. ??? I don't think I can do that.

There has to be a better answer.

Now that the autumn is here and the days are getting shorter and it is getting dark earlier I haven't been able to fit in that walk after work. It's far too dark. I miss it. It's also too dark early in the morning. This nasty rain we have had all week doesn't help either. I do have a treadmill, but . . . I find it so boring, and because it is people powered, it is walking up hill all the way and extra hard. I know . . . excuses, excuses.

The only and best solution is my exercise video. It's fun and something that I can do here in the house. I don't like to do it with Todd around through, so perhaps I need to take it upstairs and into our bedroom instead of down here in the kitchen. What do you think? It just might work.